who we are and who we are not.

by hillarymay

I haven’t been able to sleep. I’ve found that its easier to set aside thoughts during your day than it is when you’re alone in the dark. I’ve also found that writing thoughts on paper lose its magic. The thoughts in my head, written down, do not hold the same weight when gone unspoken. Its inexplainable.
Even still, I continue to try because I believe that there are things in my life that need to be shared. As best as I can convey. I have never been more aware of my sin than I am right now. Or should I say, I have never seen my sin in action as well as I see it now. Pride wounded, the holy spirit has revealed parts of my soul to me through conversations and specific interactions. What have I found? Disappointment in myself. Learning that my actions and decisions have the potential to hurt others leaves a rock in my stomach. And, I have hurt others. I have been the unfortunate one to see such results. In a spiral down, I asked to be taken aside. I asked for a different perspective.

I have found that it is good to see things in a different light. That is why my relationships here are different. These specific people have been shaping me. Living life together, I’ve been learning how to interact with personalities different from mine. And I’m growing, gaining perspective, and realizing just how much each of us bring to the table. We are all inclined to gravitate toward those who are similar to us, but the community received by allowing others different from you pour into your life is unmistakable.

Saying that you’re wrong is hard. Saying that you’re sorry is hard. But, it can be done. With a lot of grace, I’m learning.